One of the things I’m most often asked, because I’m from Appalachia but don’t sound the way folks expect is, “Why don’t you have an accent?”
My typical (and as succinct as possible but still true) answer is, “They say you get your accent from your peer group but I moved so much that I never had one. Instead, I just watched a lot of TV so my ‘peer group’ and where I got my accent was the bridge crew of the Enterprise 1701-D.”
Okay… maybe it’s not that succinct. But it is true.
I’ve moved thirty-seven times. I went to thirteen different schools before high school. And this was the days before wide-spread internet, free texts, social media. Keeping up with the kids I was leaving behind, developing longterm friendships… it just wasn’t on the table for me. Hell, even my family was constantly in flux. Between all the marriages and divorces, all the step and half siblings, I’ve been the oldest, the youngest, the only, and the middle child.
So there was TV. There was Frasier, The X-Files, Masterpiece Mystery, Diagnosis Murder.
There was Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Star Trek:TNG was especially huge for me. Those stories and that crew got me through some of the most difficult times of my childhood. And, as an adult, I did a long-term project centered around it, re-watching all the episodes, writing essays… My friends (I did eventually make a couple) still text or email me whenever Star Trek news comes out, wanting to know my take, telling me they thought of me when they saw it.
So… Patrick Stewart.
Patrick Stewart died today.
And I’ve said for years that I’d rather have lunch with the Star Trek writers than the actors. I’m much rather talk to David Gerrold or (the late) D.C. Fontana or Sally Caves who originated Reginald Barclay’s character. And that’s true. The characters we all love come more from the writers than the actors. (Of course, I’m a writer so take that for what it's worth.)
But, when I look at Patrick Stewart, I still see Captain Picard.
Picard was—far and away—the most compassionate, intelligent, wise, calm, fair and (importantly) consistent father figure of my childhood. He taught me how leaders, how fathers, how men should act.
And so, when my husband gently told me that Patrick Stewart died… I felt the loss. I felt my heart sink and I felt the burn of tears in my throat and I remembered being a little girl and watching him on TV in one house or apartment after another after another after another…
A few years ago, they brought Picard back. Gave him his own show. Even brought in my all time favorite Trek character (Seven of Nine) but… I just couldn’t watch it.
The version of Captain Picard that I love lives in those old episodes. And, you know what? I can revisit them anytime I want.
I guess all good things must come to an end… but we’ll always have the holodeck.